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A shortage of economically attractive men is yet another reason you may need a pre-nup before tying the knot. A recent Cornell University study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family says that one of the reasons the U.S. has seen a decline in marriage is because there is a shortage of men who are “economically attractive.” The study attributes the shortage to various factors, including the economy, which currently has more lower-paying and unstable jobs. Additionally, women are climbing the economic ladder and now have different expectations for a spouse.

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Audrey and Matt are young and in love. They have just graduated college and adopted Tenley, a one-year-old shelter puppy. Carol and Jack are in their late 50s and are getting married. Carol raises show dogs, and one of her dogs, Buddy, won multiple prestigious awards for agility. Steve and Jill, both in their early 30s, are getting married once Steve finishes his residency. Jill is an avid horsewoman and they plan to buy a property large enough to accommodate a stable. Finally, Larry and Sarah are getting divorced. They agree that the dog, Riley, should follow the children, which they will share custody of equally. However, in addition to the fact that Larry and Sarah both work and need doggy day care, Larry has substantial travel requirements for his job, which necessitates either Sarah taking Riley more than half the time, or expensive boarding expenses.

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A short time ago I had a conversation with a lawyer who had been the subject of a custody battle between her parents more than thirty years ago. Later in life, she decided to satisfy her curiosity of what her parents had said to the court, and obtained copies of all the pleadings they filed. In New Jersey, as in many states, very few documents are sealed or confidential, allowing this woman to access all of the certifications, or affidavits, her parents filed.

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According to the National Institute of Mental Health,

  • Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. (46.6 million) experiences mental illness in a given year. 
  • Approximately 1 in 25 adults in the U.S. (11.2 million) experiences a serious mental illness in a given year that substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities.
  • Approximately 1 in 5 youth aged 13–18 (21.4%) experiences a severe mental disorder at some point during their life. For children aged 8–15, the estimate is 13%.

Not surprisingly, mental health issues come up in the context of a divorce in a variety of ways. They arise when mental health issues contribute to the breakdown of the marriage or relationship. For instance, a partner may suffer from a condition which causes him or her to behave in ways that are detrimental to the relationship. This can manifest itself in aggression, narcissism, and self-centered behavior to the detriment of the other partner or children, excessive spending impacting family finances, to engaging in dangerous behavior with a partner, and/or their children.


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The “D” word is a scary one. However, when considering the idea of a divorce, whether you are unhappy in your marriage, or your spouse has informed you that he or she is, giving into the urge to hide under the covers is a really, really bad idea. Knowledge is the fuel you need to power through this process—from the “I am thinking about it” stage to the “OMG I was just served divorce papers” stage.

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Despite the fact that family courts are trending towards making divorce filings public records, there are certain documents that should not, and cannot be disclosed. The most important of these are evaluations that are conducted in custody disputes.

A California appeals court recently ruled that the Los Angeles attorney representing singer Paul Anka’s ex-wife, Anna, in a custody battle acted “maliciously” and ” recklessly” when she disclosed information contained in a confidential custody evaluation from a prior case during a deposition.


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Towards the end of 2018, all talk was about the 2018 Tax Cuts & Jobs Act and its changes to the treatment of alimony. The deductibility of alimony for payors (and the inclusion of alimony in income for the recipients) ended in 2018. There were rushes to the courthouse in order to complete divorces. Attorneys were burning the midnight oil to finish settlement agreements, and judges were staying late, often forgoing planned vacations in order to accommodate litigants who settled prior to the New Year.

Now that 2018 is over, it is time to focus on the other changes to the tax code which significantly impact family law cases. These were sometimes overlooked as the focus of the last 12 months was alimony. But the other changes in the law have equally, and in some cases more, important repercussions for families.

Mind you, this blog is in no way a substitute for sound advice from an accountant. It is, however, intended to open eyes to issues which should be raised in a family law case.


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In an environment of uncertainty for transgender individuals, New Jersey is on the forefront of creating laws which are aimed to support New Jersey’s transgender community. In July of 2018, Governor Phil Murphy signed a package of bills into law which make important changes to records of vital statistics which are effective February 1, 2019.

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I was in the middle of writing a blog about the 2018 Tax Cuts & Jobs Act and the non-alimony changes, when a friend of mine posted something on Facebook. This is friend who contracted a virus when we were in junior high school which left him in a wheelchair. Yet, he has always been one of the most upbeat and inspirational people I have ever known. He posted a list of 8 things to quit in 2019, and I realized it was the basis for my first post of the New Year. The tax laws will just have to wait.

The top 8 things to Quit in 2019, from a Family Lawyer’s Perspective:

Trying to please everyone: I think this is on the top of the list for a reason. It simply can’t be done, so stop trying! It’s impossible in the best of situations, and when a person is going through a divorce or other family law matter, the guilt of unsuccessfully trying to please everybody is simply going to drag you further into morass. Moreover, the reason it’s impossible even in the best of situations is that it’s not your responsibility to please everyone. It’s your responsibility to act fairly, listen to the other person’s perspective with an open mind, and be the best parent, son, daughter, former spouse or partner you can be.


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Credit Card Miles and Points in DivorceIt is well known that when parties divorce, there will be an equitable distribution of the marital assets and debts that the parties acquired during the marriage. Many people also know that it rarely matters whose name that the asset or debt was acquired in.

I cannot stress enough that the preparation of a financial statement, or a Case Information Statement, is perhaps the most important step of the entire divorce process. Getting bank balances and mortgage payoff statements is easy, and tasks that no one thinks twice about. However, there are other assets, or benefits in a marriage that are easily overlooked, and can result in an inequity to a spouse if not considered.

Most of us have a credit card (or two, or three) that accumulate miles which can be traded in for airline tickets, hotel points, or some ability to trade points for something of value.


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